


Homesick

by dreyars



Category: ALL OUT!! - Amase Shiori (Anime & Manga)
Genre: 2nd Year Etsu, Established Relationship, M/M, Pining, Underage Drinking, college Gosho, happy birthday Goshozome!, mentions of Horikawa / Adachigahara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-03 18:16:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12753597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreyars/pseuds/dreyars
Summary: Home is where the heart is, and Goshozome's heart is miles and miles away.





	Homesick

Goshozome was the worst kind of homesick.

He missed his bed, and his mom waking him up every morning with a warm breakfast and good wishes for the day.

He missed his pet bird, who greeted him every day after practice with a song and a well-timed dance that let Goshozome know he was ready to get out of his cage.

But most of all, he missed his boyfriend.

His mom had already come and visited more times than he expected, with cookies and a tasty dinner to share with his roommates.  His bird would come back with him after summer break, when he wasn’t worried about moving his entire life into an apartment 3 hours away from home. But Etsugo was as busy as he was, busier even, since the life of a high schooler never ceases, and Goshozome hadn’t gotten to see him since he started college.

At first, Goshozome had tried to be strong.  It’d only be two years like this after all! They had gone their whole lives waiting for each other, so what was a couple more years? Besides, it wasn’t like they had gotten to see each other all that often when they were both still in high school.  They never lived right around the corner from each other, so they often went a couple weeks without being able to see each other in person for a date.

It wasn’t a big deal, right?

This was nothing.

But distance, both physical and otherwise, made time seem so much longer.

Two months expanded to feel like two years in the blink of an eye, and Goshozome couldn’t help but let that awful feeling sink in.  The kind of feeling that sunk into your stomach and twisted up your guts and made you long for something you couldn’t have, even when you already had everything you ever wanted.

He was happy! He really was.

Or at least he tried to be.

Goshozome had gotten into his top choice college.  He found a way to live with his best friend as a college first year, rather than being forced to cramp into a dingy dormitory. He was still playing rugby, and was going to get to start at their game that night, if only he could get out of bed.

But he wasn’t happy, because the feeling of homesick gnawed at his gut like a vulture tearing into a dead animal on the side of the road.

Goshzome wasn’t sure when the feeling was at its worse.

At night, it was awful, when he sat at his desk doing homework, after Etsugo had already wished him a goodnight and reminded him not to stay up too late. 

But mornings like this were probably at the bottom of his list.  He could hear Horikawa and Adachigahara on the other side of the wall, in their bedroom, getting ready for a day of school and rugby.   Their voices were hushed, so that they wouldn’t wake Goshozome, or so that he couldn’t hear their secrets.  Though really, it didn’t matter what they did. Goshozome always rose with the sun as a force of habit.  But, he couldn’t force himself to get up and face the day when he felt oh so terribly alone.

Adachigahara tried to be understanding most days.  Reminding him that he still had his friends, even if his little boyfriend was so far away. Coaxing him out of bed so that he didn’t miss their first class. Making him a coffee and tucking a piece of fruit in his backpack while Goshozome tried to get his bearings on the world for the day.

Adachigahara tried to be understanding, but he had his own boyfriend to call on right down the hallway, who was always tapping his foot and checking his watch as his two slowpoke roommates dragged their feet to get ready.

And Horikawa was a lot less understanding. His version of “cheer up” was “suck it up”, all while dumping him out of bed so that he speeds up his morning routine by just a hair.

Of course, they just had his best intentions at heart, Goshozome convinced himself.  Adachigahara was a coddler when he wasn’t being coddled himself, and Horikawa’s method was more of a ‘get moving and you won’t think about it as much’ strategy.

But even with their best efforts of getting his mind off things, he still sulked.

He spoke to Etsugo every day, video chatted whenever they could, but it wasn’t enough. Not when he couldn’t hug him, feel him under his hands and kiss his cute little pouty face.

Everything had been going well the first few weeks of school.  He had just moved in, met his new teammates, started on his first classes. He was _excited_ to step into this new phase of life.

And then Etsugo’s birthday came and went, and he felt like the worst boyfriend in the whole world.

He knew Etsugo was disappointed he couldn’t come home.  He had been away for less than a month, he couldn’t make the trip without skipping at least one day of classes and a couple practices, and that wasn’t the best idea when he was so low in the chain of command.

Etsugo swore he understood, because it was a bad weekend anyway. They had their annual game with Keijou. He was too busy.

But the sound of disappointment was still prominent in his favorite boy’s voice, and it tore him up inside.

Next weekend! Next weekend he promised. After Goshozome’s first game and before classes started again on Monday. But plans change. Three hours there and back in one day wasn’t feasible, Etsugo would remind him. Homework piles up.

Goshozome stopped making concrete promises to see him when he kept failing to keep him.  “Next weekend” turned into “soon”.

“Soon” became “this summer, I promise.”

And Goshozome felt like it was all his fault, even if every time he broke a promise it was for a valid reason that he couldn’t control. An extra practice forced on them by the captain, a paper he had to finish by midnight.

Etsugo made no such promises, because he was smarter than him. He always had been.  He knew even if he a had a rare empty weekend, his mother would hold him at home. Or, if his mother gave her permission for her golden child to go off three hours away to a college campus, alone and while still in high school, Etsugo probably wouldn’t have the money to make the trip.  Etsugo was the worst at saving up his allowances, because he never knew when he needed to save for, and Goshozome would never blame him for that.

Because it would be soon.  He’d see him soon. He’d drag his feet to class every day, focus on his classes and the games he would get to play in.

He’d be okay because he had to be. He’d do his best, because that’s what Etsugo expected of him.  Etsugo would never forgive him if he blew all these chances, just because he missed him.

And today was no different. He’d roll out of bed, or let Horikawa do the rolling for him.  He’d pick himself up, shower, and pretend like nothing was wrong, just like he did every morning. He’d greet his day with a smile, the one Etsugo had told him that he loved, and get through the day.

Because he had to.

Because he didn’t want anyone to worry.

Because he wanted this, so that he could make a great future for him. For them.

It’d all be okay, because they’d be together at the end of it all.  They were still in this together, even though they were hours apart.

It still sucked though.  Knowing that his friends tiptoed around him because they didn’t want to upset him.  Knowing Etsugo wouldn’t be there to congratulate him after his very first victory as a starter on his dream team. Wouldn’t be there to take care of him when he made a fool of himself later that night.

It’s like he was spinning. Spinning out of control, his heart twisting up in his chest and vision going cross-eyed as he tried to maintain even footing. Remain in control, because he was going to be fine.

Or maybe, that spinning was just in his head, as he plopped down on a bench outside of the bar his team had picked to celebrate their first win with him as a starter.  He had thought that going outside would help the fogginess in his head, but the mugginess of an early warm front just made the weight pressing down on his body feel worse.

He probably shouldn’t have been drinking.  He never really had before, and he was underage, but it was hard to tell his upper classmen no.  It was difficult to turn down drink after drink, when he was certain it would make him feel better and keep the good vibes from the game going.

In reality, it only wiped out all the good thoughts from Goshozome’s mind, and made it that much easier to focus on the fact that he was pressed up between two of his large teammates, rather than pressed up against his cute little boyfriend.

Goshozome could find no relief as he rubbed a hand over his flushed face, pulling his phone out of his pocket with the other to check the time.

1:27 am.

Etsugo would be asleep.

Goshozome couldn’t find it in himself to care at that moment.

Pulling up their near continuous text conversation, Goshozome snorted at the last message of “be safe” that Etsugo had sent right before he went out to make an idiot out of himself with his team. He tried to form a simple message, with the only words he wanted to tell Etsugo in that moment. But his fingers were heavy, and felt much too fat for the touch screen, and he couldn’t get it quite right.

_I lovb uoi_

_Lvoenyouuuuu_

_U LObr_

Cursing under his breath, Goshozome gave up, tapping Etsugo’s contact picture at the top of his screen, starting a call that Goshozome prayed with his whole heart would go through. He knew somewhere in his head he would regret waking the sleeping beauty in the morning, but he couldn’t make himself hang up, even as the rings drawled out, eventually giving way to a soft, sleepy voice that made Goshozome’s heart swell.

“Yoichi?”

Goshozome felt his throat tighten, his longing for his boyfriend at its peak, just from hearing him call his name.  It’s not like they hadn’t talked on the phone just yesterday, but  something about hearing his sweet little voice, just woken up from a gentle sleep, pushed him over the edge.  Goshozome found himself tugging at the collar of his shirt, trying to come up with something to say that didn’t make it obvious that he was drunk. Or crying.

“Etsugo! Baby! I’m sorry for waking you up, I just needed to talk to you!”

“Is everything okay?” Etsugo’s voice was rough, making it quite obvious he had been woken up.  Goshozome was surprised Etsugo had woken up at all for the call, since the little blonde valued his sleep so much. “Where are you?”

“Oh, everything’s great, babe! I’m still out with the guys, but I just needed to hear your voice for a few minutes.”

A sigh was his response, and Goshozome could hear the sounds of Etsugo shifting around in bed, likely forcing himself to sit up so he didn’t fall asleep in the middle of their conversation.  “Yoichi, have you been drinking?”

“What? Me? Babe, you know me better than that, why would you say that?”

“I can hear it in your voice. Plus, you’re practically shouting. Maybe you should go home and we can both get some sleep.”

“Yeah yeah, soon soon. I’m just waiting for Hori and Adachi to get done, I guess they hold their drinks a bit better than me.”

“So you _have_ been drinking.”

“Ha, yeah, I’m sorry.” Goshozome sniffed, rubbing the back of his hand against his nose.  He waited, quietly, for Etsugo to say something again, because he really wasn’t sure what would come out of his stupid mouth if he opened it again first.

Etsugo eventually broke the silence, a tired sigh in his voice. “Yoichi, are you sure you’re okay?”

Goshozome sniffed again, wincing when he felt a hot tear run over his flushed cheek.  His voice broke when he spoke, but he didn’t even try to hide it. “Nooo, I’m not. Babe, I miss you so much, I’m sorry I’m such a shitty boyfriend.”

“Yoichi…”

“No, its true! It’s my fault I went so far away, and I know I’ve disappointed you since I left since I can’t come back for shit. I’m sorry I couldn’t come back for your birthday. I’m sorry I’ve missed all your games so far! I’m sorry I’m making this so hard, but god I just miss you so much!”

“Yoichi, I’ve already forgiven you for those things, its okay-“

_“There he is!”_

Goshozome yelped as his conversation was interrupted by Adachigahara grabbing him by the shoulders and shaking him out of his pity party.

“Hey cut it out! I’m on the phone with Etsugo!”

“Oh my god, you ran out here just to call your boyfriend. And are you _crying_? Come on, Yoichi, toughen up.” Adachigahara came around to the other side of the bench, lunging at Goshozome in an attempt to take his phone away.

“Stop it! Just let me talk to him for another five minutes!” Goshozome struggled, holding his phone out of Adachigahara’s reach, only to practically hand it right to Horikawa, who had snuck up behind them in the midst of their scuffle.

Holding Goshozome’s phone up to his ear, Horikawa continued the call. “Oharano?...Yeah, its Horikawa. Say, Goshozome’s going to have to call you back tomorrow…yeah yeah, we’ll make sure the drama queen gets home and to bed…yeah, no I’m not telling him that for you, tell him yourself tomorrow…yeah, night. Bye.”

“Nooooooooo, Hori, whyyyyyy?” Goshozome had turned himself around on the bench, the backrest pressing uncomfortably into his chest as he reached out in vain for his phone. Horikawa slipped it into his own pocket and Goshozome whined, effectively being held back by Adachigahara’s hands pulling on the back of his shirt.

“Nope. If we give it back to you now, you’ll just call him back and we’ll have to deal with you moping around for the rest of the night.”

“So? I have my own room, you don’t have to deal with me at all!” Goshozome finally shook Adachigahara off his back, standing up from the bench on wobbly legs.  Adachigahara almost immediately took a hold of his elbow, guiding him around the bench so that Horikawa could support his other side.

Roughly grabbing his shoulder, Horikawa pushed him down the street, heading towards where Goshozome could only assume was their apartment. “You’re shouting right now. You’ll probably keep shouting if you call him back.”

Readjusting his grip, Adachigahara gave a comforting pat to Goshozome’s arm. “It’s okay, Yoichi. You can call him back tomorrow and it will probably be better since you’ll have stopped crying.”

Goshozome rubbed his arm across his eyes as his friends guided him down the sidewalk, a hand on each of his shoulders to keep him steady. “I’m not crying.”

Sharing a look over his head, Adachigahra and Horikawa didn’t say a word, knowing their words wouldn’t mean much right then. They just pulled him along, let his feet drag as he made little effort to get back home.  Hoping that this was just a one-time thing, and after letting his emotions spill over once, Goshozome would be able to be strong.

Goshozome didn’t remember much after his head his pillow. He vaguely remembers shucking his jeans, kicking them off beneath his blankets, but giving up on the shirt when his uncoordinated arms were too clumsy to get it over his chin. It didn’t deter him much from falling asleep. Not as much as the lack of his phone did, because he couldn’t even apologize or say goodnight to Etsugo without his phone.  But even that didn’t matter much when he was fighting the call of sleep. But even sleep didn’t last as long as he would have liked.

Goshozome was ready to snap Adachigahara’s fingers off when he felt them prodding at his face.  It was Saturday for god’s sake. There was no reason at all he should be waking him up this early. Their light Saturday practice wasn’t scheduled until midafternoon to accommodate for the hangovers that (hopefully) the other players were also feeling.

Goshozome rolled over, but the prodding didn’t stop. Well, the more he focused on it, the less it felt like prodding, and the more it felt like callused fingers, brushing his hair from his eyes, and tracing the curve of his cheek and the outline of his jaw. It was such a soft touch, and so relaxing, that Goshozome could feel himself falling back asleep until he hears the click of a tongue, expressing the irritation of the person who was so lovingly touching his face.

Goshozome’s eyes open slowly, blinded by the brightness of the morning light and the sheer beauty of the sight in front of him. Sitting up quickly to get a better look at the angel in front of him, Goshozome felt his head spin. Holding onto his head with his hands, he tried to right himself, immediately feeling healed when he felt Etsugo’s soft hands on his arms.

“Etsugo! Why are you here?”

“Depends on who’s asking. If it’s my mom, I’m spending the night with Iwashimizu after practice. If it’s any of my teammates, I’m sick.” Lifting a hand to cover his mouth, Etsugo gave the fakest cough Goshozome had ever heard. 

“And if I asked?”

“If you asked, it’s because you woke me up at 1 am _crying_ over how much you missed me. And I guess I missed you too.”

Goshozome felt fresh tears well up in his eyes, and he quickly dipped his face down so that Etsugo wouldn’t see.  He couldn’t believe it. He was here. He had no idea how or why, but he was here.  Helping him sit up. Guiding him into a hug, kissing the side of his face as he rested his forehead on Etsugo’s shoulders.  Goshozome’s arms found their way around Etsugo’s waist, and he forced himself closer, holding his boyfriend as close to him as he could, as if he was worried he would slip away the instant he let go.

It was perfect.  This was perfect because he didn’t expect it. Didn’t see it coming from a mile away.

It was perfect even if he swore Etsugo mumbled something about him stinking of sweat and alcohol and bad decisions. It was perfect because despite that, Etsugo didn’t let go.  He held him there, working the tangles out of his hair with his fingers as Goshozome tried to catch his breath against his shoulder.

Because he wasn’t going to cry. Not again.  He was happy, for the first time in a few weeks. And he wanted to express that happiness in something less goofy than tears.

“Maybe you should lay back down, Yoichi…”

With a shaky breath, Goshozome pulled his face away from Etsugo’s shoulder. “Only if you lay down with me.”

“Of course.” Pushing gently in the center of Goshozome’s chest, Etsugo stood from the bed, pulling off his coat and digging around in his backpack on the floor for something before crawling in beside Goshozome. He slid snuggly between Goshozome’s spread arms, and rested his head gingerly on Goshozome’s pillow. Leaning in slightly, Goshozome did his best to do the one thing he had been fantasizing about for the past month, before he was blocked by one of Etsugo’s fingers pressing a hard little candy to his lips. Raising an eyebrow, Goshozome questioned what this was.

“Breath mint.”

Accepting the candy into his mouth, Goshozome rolled his eyes. Some things never changed, and he definitely didn’t want them to.

This was exactly what he had been aching for.

Etsugo’s soft lips, pressed against his own chapped ones as he willed for the breath mint to do its job so Etsugo would allow more than a chaste, innocent little kiss.

His fingers wound up in Etsugo’s hair, holding him close and breathing him in.  He always smelled better than Goshozome anyway, but today the difference was striking and well appreciated.

Drifting back to sleep in each other’s arms, because neither had really been ready to wake up that morning, but they’d both rather be asleep together, than awake and alone.

Just as the feeling of Etsugo’s fingers on his skin began to lull him back to sleep, he was woken once again by the sound of his name being called. Goshozome hummed back, signaling that he was still awake, but couldn’t be bothered to remove his face from Etsugo’s hair at this exact moment.

“Just so you know, I only had enough money to buy the trip up here. I figured you could help me get back home.”

Goshozome shook his head, mumbling against Etsugo’s hair all the while. “What if I don’t want to give you money that will just help you leave me again?”

Etsugo squeezed him tightly, a small chuckle in his voice. “Then, I guess I just have to stay here forever, don’t I?”

“That’s the plan, my love.”

Goshozome felt Etsugo’s smile spread across his face,  a warm, fluttery feeling dancing in his stomach in response.  Goshozome tucked them in tightly with the blanket pulled up to their chins, and just basked in the moment where nothing was wrong, everything was perfect, and the lingering feeling of homesickness didn’t matter because the most important part of his home was right here, wrapped in his arms and fighting off sleep. But sleep was not to come for either of them, because this house was not without disturbances.

“Oh, I hope I don’t need to get you naughty children some condoms!” Adachigahara’s shrill voice called through the door.  Goshozome responded by tossing the heaviest, least breakable item within his reach at the door, which just happened to be one of his shoes on the floor.

“Oh well I’ll take that as a ‘no’ to going to lunch with Kenya and me before practice! You two should rest up, and I’ll just tell the captain you’re sick. The whole team knows you drank too much last night.”

Etsugo rolled his eyes, and Goshozome couldn’t ignore his admittedly adorable irritation. “Get out of here, Shota!”

“Your phone is on the kitchen counter. If you have sex in the shower later, make sure to clean the tub!”

Goshozome rolled his eyes and shook his head, leaving his eyes crossed for a moment as Etsugo laughed at his faces. When they were sure they had heard the front door slam, they sat up, both admitting silently that extended sleep was not in their schedule for today.

“How do you live with them?”

“I don’t know if this is really living, more like surviving without you here. It always ends up being two against one when we have to make a decision, and I’m the sad, lonely, one.”

“Oh, boo hoo your life must be so awful.”

“It is! You don’t understand until you live with them, Etsugo. They’re my best friends, somehow, but living with them is the worst.”

“So, does that mean you’ve gone back on your plans? We can get a place that’s just the two of us once I graduate?”

Goshozome paused, his heart stuck in his throat at the genuine question. Etsugo wanted to live with him. He still saw them as being together in two years. Well, of course he did. Goshozome knew that.  Etsugo promised that he was in this relationship for the long haul when he moved off to college initially, but hearing it out loud for himself again made his heart pound, and he couldn’t imagine the rewards that would come from waiting out these next two years.

Etsugo clicked his tongue to pull Goshozome out of his happy, stunned daze, and ushered him off to the shower, deciding that they wouldn’t be sticking around the house all day when their time together was so short.  He wanted to see where Goshozome was living, what the town he had grown to call home was like.  Goshozome agreed, immediately rejuvenated by the thought of showing Etsugo all of his favorite spots. Because after all, they only had two days.

Two days passed a lot faster than two years, but Goshozome didn’t want to think about that right now. He didn’t want to think about tomorrow, when Etsugo would inevitably have to leave him and return to his normal routine.  Goshozome didn’t want to think about how surprises like this probably wouldn’t come very often, if ever again, because the thought of not seeing Etsugo again until summer break hurt too much.

Two days wasn’t enough, but more than he could have ever hoped for. Two days was more than enough to remind him why he was in love, and to recharge his heart, so maybe the next bout of homesickness wouldn’t be so terrible.  It would come back, surely, throughout the next two years apart.  But soon, he wouldn’t be missing his mom.  He wouldn’t miss his bird.

He would only miss his Etsugo, but that wasn’t something he was going to grow out of. He knew if the situation was different, and they were living together, and Etsugo was going away for a weekend, he’d miss him just as much.

But maybe the homesickness wasn’t such a bad thing, Goshozome thought. Not when it made their time together so much more special. Not when his reward for surviving was as great as seeing Etsugo smiling at him, waiting with a hug and a kiss, all his once again.

He’d always miss him, Goshozome knew.  He’d miss him until the day that he was his forever, and he knew for absolute certain that their distance would eventually end.

**Author's Note:**

> Goshozome's birthday is tomorrow! Had to make sure the best boy had some love!


End file.
